The poems I have assinged you to read are filled with a lot of wonderful concrete detail, i.e. very specific word choice that relays images in language, word-pictures that can be touched, tasted, seen, smelled, and heard. I will quote a few examples from the poems you have read:
1. There are people who do not "run and crucify themselves/ in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha" (Hoagland "I Have News For You" 22-23)
2. "Is she a pink life-size piece of chewing gum" (Hoagland "Poor Britney Spears" 22).
3."a chunk of night, in which my white/teeth are lightning" (de Burgos 6-7)
4."...startling, ripped canvas of sky./ Holes punched in a desert of clouds./ Thrust into nothing./Echo-a white mute./ Quiet." (Szymborska 4-8)
For your assignment, re-read the poems and find all the concrete details. Then, find a specific object you would like to describe using a string of at least six excellent concrete details inspired by and along the lines of the ones you have read.
Write your own string or list of concrete details for your response. Make sure they are specific and unique, and do not forget to write what you are describing at the top of the post. Try to make the reader see what you are describing as if for the first time. Attempt to give the reader a sense of wonder.
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ReplyDeleteTwo
ReplyDeleteHalves welding together like two rivers colliding , what could be better than one? Screaming emotional conflicting love, slicing through the center. Ears, eyes, arms, legs, hands, feet. Tea for us, four cut in half. Life long happiness not alone.
Dirty Secrets
ReplyDeleteFrothing rabid breath, escaping your mouth as you stand in the freezing meat locker, forms icicles dripping from your vile, bloated, putrid lips. Frigid slabs of granite, the words slam into me, my mind shatters with the weight. Waves of filthy soot cling to the air that surrounds us.
Appearance
ReplyDeleteMedia surrounding us with pictures of goddesses. Beautiful, skinny, perfect. Take a look in the mirror and see the opposite; ugly, fat, a mess. Eating disorders, self abuse, drugs, pills, alcohol, is what you turn to. Feel the need to become like the goddesses with those horrid options. Turn off the TV, put down the magazine, look at yourself. You're different. You are beautiful.
Celebrity
ReplyDeleteFame, luxury, fortune. Idol of society, model of perfection. Sudden mistake, your reputation ruined. You're controlled by society to be someone you're not; someone their not. Expectations towards you are high but you're just human. Live you're life. Don't regret.
Voodoo Doll
ReplyDeleteUnrecognizable, a symbol, an object, for the wrong reasons. Forced to act one way to fulfill our desires. Mystical practice, influenced by our own people. A voodoo doll, used to substitute our personal conflicts.
sad dog
ReplyDeleteThe wind tangled in my mane, at a walk i drew up the porch. Echo- a white mute, quiet. Up here its neither moon nor earth as my tears freeze. My whole life has lead me here, sandwiches and green garden chairs. i lack freedom, is my sadness, is my sadness, if only he was not my master.
Swingset
ReplyDeleteThe metal rod so skinny, small, shiny, sturdy that drapes a pair cool metal interlocked loops the size of paperclips. Holding onto these loops your hands clenched turning white as you see your breath amongst the air. These loops tied to a sky blue 2 feet by 1 foot piece of wood that supports you up and never lets you fall as you push and pump your feet to feel the cool breeze touching your face so gentle and careesing your hair ever so swiftly. You become one with the swingset and one with nature.
Mother
ReplyDeleteThe unique gift giving to the female soul, human and superhuman, my idol, that who was once filled with the cupid's seed, three sets of three months, pain, uncontrollable love consumed by unbelievable strength, a teacher that contours the curves of our path, and the compass I hold dear in my hands in the journey i will once share when I to become human and superhuman in the matter of time.
Ruined
ReplyDeleteNot every sentence there means death, an empty swimming pool, a broken playground swing, are you sure you know what the hell we're doing? We've inherited hope- the gift of forgetting. You'll see how we give birth among the ruins. Rise from the ruins only to be reborn once more.
Alex C.
ReplyDeleteQuiet
Does one have to be silent to be quiet, or can quiet simply be thinking one million things and not expressing your thoughts or feelings what so ever, quiet does not have to mean shy, it can mean many different things, could one be quiet and loud, yes in their own head, one can be screaming sitting next to you but you will never know, because no words are coming through their mouth.
Dreams
ReplyDeleteHaving the ability to tell your secret admirer you have had a crush on them since the day he shared his Oreo cookies with you. Standing up to the “jolly green giant”, who’s in reality only 4’7 but in your eyes someone that’s been teasing you way too long. Swimming undersea with Flounder and avoiding the dangerous reefs as if you were Ariel herself on a quest to find an oyster with a pearl gift inside. The imagination that delicately expands in the comfort of your unconscious as well as upgrading your own self confidence. The dream so lightweight yet heavy with possibilities fears and desires. Yet at the crack of dawn this self confidence slowly evaporates and it’s back to reality of long lines, high gas prices, and the mystery of tonight’s dream.
Candy
ReplyDeleteAn edible item that you put in you're mouth when craving something sweet. A bribe for young children to behave while mommy is trying to grocery shop. A nice gift to a loved one on special holidays. A exciting surprise in you're stocking on Christmas morning. A reward for you when you do good on a test, or answer answer questions in a classroom. Something sticky that you feel at the bottom of your purse on a hot day.
Manhattan
ReplyDeleteA city where everyone comes alive at night, and the spotlight is always on you. Fashion is a weapon, and you must carry it well. Insomnia keeps people company, while others are just focused on all the yellow bugs racing on the streets. You could never go hungry, because around the block, all these mouth watering aromas pull you in different directions. Everyone is always in a rush, and there's never enough time. No wonder why everyone's so skinny.
roses:
ReplyDeletepretty, red, lovely, soft, touching the skin ever so slightly, understanding, bright, smelly, mystery, emotional, what's next to come, how far along are we really?, the bond between a couple, the everlasting love even when they die, butterflies in the stomach, blushed cheeks, and the thought that he cares...
Sister
ReplyDeletemay or may not be of blood relation, but shares a part of your heart (and maybe your clothes). Connected through our souls,beautiful inside, a sister is a life long friendship and commitment. She is one who tries to understand and help your life's hardships and your life's pleasures. You'll never be alone because no matter where you go you will always find/have a sister.
war.
ReplyDeleteI stomp this foreign ground. Nothing that was ever there could be more sacred to my new family to my left and right, with faces and calls and chants that only one people could possibly embrace. These horrible snaps and tears, cracks and pops- the essence of lightning and fire are letting themselves be known. They are ready to scar you. Suddenly, this chanting bloody hand before me, in my language, repeating itself over and over and over....is not as beautiful. Suddenly, math has won.
Winter tree
ReplyDeleteBare, exposed for all to see, its dark limbs contort in the growing struggle of every difficult year to reach the sky. Black, against the fading colors of day retreating into night. Deadened, cold, and rough skin hide and protect the life within,waiting to find its way out once again in nature’s yearly beginning.
Spring
ReplyDeleteThe smell of dew surrounds you as you walk into the morning air, buds peek through the left over winter snow, the warmth is a reminder that a new season is arriving, hibernators poke their noses out in question, as you walk the ground squishes under your feet leaving an imprint, birds return home from their long journey. Could it be a new season has begun?
Avalanche
ReplyDeleteWhat is it? The blast from a shotgun, but with snow? Is it a million snowmen leaping to their deaths like lemmings? Is it the mountain vomiting? A frozen tidal wave? Who knows? Is it so concrete? So tangible? Does it mean something, or is it simply an occurrence in nature? Is there more to it, or just as it appears? Think of a band of white stallions all on the charge; trampling down the mountain side toward some strange, unknowable, equine goal. Or don't, and keep asking.
Sex
ReplyDeleteSoothes with an anestetic effect/ the fervently intertwining of our bodies/ encircled in anxiety, understanding society begs patience/ shattering of innocence/ deliberate risk, entering exotic lands/ blissful recreation if remaining conscientious
Cell phone
ReplyDeleteSmooth, chic, modern, compact. Qwerty pattern of the compresses which express that we wish to speak, but are too modest to say aloud. Access to all of the latest gossip. Do you know Lisa? She sits next to me in all of my classes, we have never spoken but I know all about her. I’m looking at her pictures as she stares at her own small, lit up screen, clicking with her thumbs across the board, possibly about someone she has never spoken to, but knows all about.
Time
ReplyDeleteSilence. Noise. Surrounding us all. Every moment held like a baby. fast, slow, sometimes unsure if your standing still. Creeping footsteps to every tick. Wondering where it will take us next, or where we will be then. Stalking our every action, but hiding behind the screen. It presents an unknowing awareness, we must keep on moving, to the tick of it's heart.
Memories
ReplyDeleteThere are the bad and the good. Happy and sad. Ones worth remembering and the ones that are better off forgotten. All from different places, with different people, doing different things. They are made everyday. Make the ones that are made today last a lifetime.
Ice Cream
ReplyDeleteA delicious treat on a hot summer day. It comes in a wide variety of flavors. This soft decadent treat is one peoples taste buds drool over. This sweet treat can be served in a cup or on an assortment of different cones. The texture is soft and creamy and can be accompanied by many different toppings, like sprinkles, gummy bears,cherries, and whipped creme. This sweet treat is used in banana splits, cakes and milkshakes. From soft to hard this sweet dessert satisfies all ages.
Voice
ReplyDeleteGrab and break it between my fingers. She stood ever so proud of the gift she abuses. The tambre of her projections are siblings of the screech a broken door hinge makes. The words she formed pierced my soul like bullets as every word hit me. When I am able to defeat her silent weapon, I will bury it in the driest dirt of my sarcasm for it does not deserve a good death. Give me the silence.
Books
ReplyDeleteA different world of mystery and adventure. Flipping from page to page. The catch, the hook, the sinker. Some are a description of your life, page after page. You are that character. The high emotion they can awaken. Happiness, sadness, anger, empathy and more. The anxiousness felt, wanting to know what happens next. And then the story is done. And you close that world. Then pick up another and enter a new one.
I am calling time on this post. I will see you tomorrow! I hope you had a great Valentine's Day!
ReplyDeleteMotel Room
ReplyDeleteThe smell of must invades my nostrils, as the sunlight hits my face like a strobe light. The bed sleeps down by the ground, while the television watches above it from a mahogany plain. Two skinny guardians illuminate the room, as night begins to fall, erasing the sun. A grimy floor and undersized window, reminds me of the small cell in which I lived before.
chewing gum
ReplyDeleteThe sweet taste on my taste buds made my mouth water. It was as if i had string cheese peice of gum in my mouth. The gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe like a bad haircut. It stuck on me like glue.
The coat had cotton candy bubble gum all across it.